When I was sixteen Amanda and I were driving back from St. George with mom acting like she was asleep in the back seat. We were talking about who knows what when Amanda said, "what's the difference between a virgin and a democrat?"
I explained it to her and mom sat up and asked me how I knew that. I proceeded to tell her that she was about eight years late for that conversation.
Junior year of high school I ran track. Our track team stunk. We were at a huge track meet in Boulder City (like 35 schools were there). The meet was about 1/2 over when I went to Coach Hafen and asked if we could go home. :) Hafen: What's the next event. Me: The 200m dash. Hafen: Who's running it? Me: Just me. Hafen: Ok, run it and go for your personal best and then we can go.
So went down to the starting line, started to stretch, etc. I was in the 4th of 8 heats. After the 3rd heat I went to my lane and got ready. When the race was ready to start I looked around and there was no one else there. The guy with the gun asked if I still wanted to run. "Nope." I told him. I started to walk off the track when Coach Hafen (who was standing right there)said, "just go for your personal best."
I went back out on the track and the gun fired. I came around the turn running as hard as I could. Then people in the stands noticed and all of a sudden everyone was laughing. I started to spin and wave etc. I felt so stupid. I asked someone else to go get my stuff and I went straight to the bus. I'll bet Coach Hafen is still laughing :)
- Running across 275 degree freshly paved main street bare foot. - Fumbling on the 10 yard line with no one else around. - Having to be saved after not quite being able to swim the Colorado river. Then having a scoutmaster stand over me while I'm trying to catch my breath and asking, "Are you and eagle scout" yes. "That was really stupid" - Peeing in front of Sharon Dodd and her daughter... I guess that should make my list. - Getting pulled over on the way home from Reno while being naked and wrapped in a blanket. - Pulling up to security at Hoover Dam about 9:00 p.m., wearing sunglasses, and with three guys laying underneath blankets in the back of my truck because a turkey had flown through my windshield. - Having pizza, popcorn, hotdogs, and sodas delivered to me on the bench of a varsity basketball game and then pulling a candy bar from my socks.
Man I could go on forever. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life :)
Oh yeah.... The wek after I got my license, I forgot my Show Choir clothes for a picture. So I borrowed Mom's new Buick (Pontiac....whatever it was) and raced home to grab them. On the way back, I took the dirt road along the canal. I got into some sand, started fishtailing, and ended up in the canal. The car slowly rolled along the side of the canal (passenger side under water, driver side up near the top of the canal.). I was approaching one of the auxillary gates (big metal contraption with a "wheel" on top to open the gate) and I started freaking out. I could only think of putting the car in park...and it worked (except a lot more water started rushing in.). I opened the door and climbed up onto the edge of the canal. Someone gave me a ride to Dads' office where i knelt down in front of his desk, begging for mercy. Two tow trucks has to pull the car out while everyone who went to PE out on the football field stopped to watch. I can't remember if I got grounded, but I do remember having to clean that horrible, fishy smell out of the car. I was up really late!
Where to start?...cooking for Mel and his roommates while a freshman at BYU: having 2 or three big college guys following me around the grocery store calling, Mommy, Mommy, don't leave me!" or writing my phone # on the boxes with a note "For a good time, call Linda @. . . ." or the worst--getting up to the checkout counter and watching the checker look from me to the boys and down and their check and back at me again several times before grabbing the check back from her and reading in the MEMO are 'for services rendered'. After we were married and when Relief Society was held on a weekday; I was giving the lesson and had my hands full of handouts, pictures, books, etc. I got them all loaded back in the car and got home to Littlefield only to realize that I'd left Seth in the nursery. Actually, Diana Frehner had to call and remind me! While Dad was taking the AZ reserve officer training-we were going home from Church one Sunday and just as we got up on the freeway outside of Mesquite we were pulled over by an Arizona Highway Patrol officer. He pulled Dad out of the car and pushed him up over the car-made him spread eagle and started to frish=k him! All the while ward members are going by and gawking. I was so humiliated! Come to find out the officer was a friend of Dad's who was just playing a joke on him! And the last one--missing a step as we came out of Animal Planet at Universal Studios with Kelly and Linda and going sprawling on the walkway in front of a hundred people! Not cool!
(picture it) high school... between softball games...running up to the bathroom... high speed sprint in my softball uniform, step up on curb... step-nope fall down on ground... AAHHH....broken foot. Don't really need to say more on that one!
7 comments:
When I was sixteen Amanda and I were driving back from St. George with mom acting like she was asleep in the back seat. We were talking about who knows what when Amanda said, "what's the difference between a virgin and a democrat?"
I explained it to her and mom sat up and asked me how I knew that. I proceeded to tell her that she was about eight years late for that conversation.
Junior year of high school I ran track. Our track team stunk. We were at a huge track meet in Boulder City (like 35 schools were there). The meet was about 1/2 over when I went to Coach Hafen and asked if we could go home. :) Hafen: What's the next event. Me: The 200m dash. Hafen: Who's running it? Me: Just me. Hafen: Ok, run it and go for your personal best and then we can go.
So went down to the starting line, started to stretch, etc. I was in the 4th of 8 heats. After the 3rd heat I went to my lane and got ready. When the race was ready to start I looked around and there was no one else there. The guy with the gun asked if I still wanted to run. "Nope." I told him. I started to walk off the track when Coach Hafen (who was standing right there)said, "just go for your personal best."
I went back out on the track and the gun fired. I came around the turn running as hard as I could. Then people in the stands noticed and all of a sudden everyone was laughing. I started to spin and wave etc. I felt so stupid. I asked someone else to go get my stuff and I went straight to the bus. I'll bet Coach Hafen is still laughing :)
- Running across 275 degree freshly paved main street bare foot.
- Fumbling on the 10 yard line with no one else around.
- Having to be saved after not quite being able to swim the Colorado river. Then having a scoutmaster stand over me while I'm trying to catch my breath and asking, "Are you and eagle scout" yes. "That was really stupid"
- Peeing in front of Sharon Dodd and her daughter... I guess that should make my list.
- Getting pulled over on the way home from Reno while being naked and wrapped in a blanket.
- Pulling up to security at Hoover Dam about 9:00 p.m., wearing sunglasses, and with three guys laying underneath blankets in the back of my truck because a turkey had flown through my windshield.
- Having pizza, popcorn, hotdogs, and sodas delivered to me on the bench of a varsity basketball game and then pulling a candy bar from my socks.
Man I could go on forever. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life :)
It's almost better to just read Nathan's!!! I can't even come close to those.
Oh yeah.... The wek after I got my license, I forgot my Show Choir clothes for a picture. So I borrowed Mom's new Buick (Pontiac....whatever it was) and raced home to grab them. On the way back, I took the dirt road along the canal. I got into some sand, started fishtailing, and ended up in the canal. The car slowly rolled along the side of the canal (passenger side under water, driver side up near the top of the canal.). I was approaching one of the auxillary gates (big metal contraption with a "wheel" on top to open the gate) and I started freaking out. I could only think of putting the car in park...and it worked (except a lot more water started rushing in.). I opened the door and climbed up onto the edge of the canal. Someone gave me a ride to Dads' office where i knelt down in front of his desk, begging for mercy. Two tow trucks has to pull the car out while everyone who went to PE out on the football field stopped to watch. I can't remember if I got grounded, but I do remember having to clean that horrible, fishy smell out of the car. I was up really late!
Sorry Mom!
Where to start?...cooking for Mel and his roommates while a freshman at BYU: having 2 or three big college guys following me around the grocery store calling, Mommy, Mommy, don't leave me!" or writing my phone # on the boxes with a note "For a good time, call Linda @. . . ." or the worst--getting up to the checkout counter and watching the checker look from me to the boys and down and their check and back at me again several times before grabbing the check back from her and reading in the MEMO are 'for services rendered'.
After we were married and when Relief Society was held on a weekday; I was giving the lesson and had my hands full of handouts, pictures, books, etc. I got them all loaded back in the car and got home to Littlefield only to realize that I'd left Seth in the nursery. Actually, Diana Frehner had to call and remind me!
While Dad was taking the AZ reserve officer training-we were going home from Church one Sunday and just as we got up on the freeway outside of Mesquite we were pulled over by an Arizona Highway Patrol officer. He pulled Dad out of the car and pushed him up over the car-made him spread eagle and started to frish=k him! All the while ward members are going by and gawking. I was so humiliated! Come to find out the officer was a friend of Dad's who was just playing a joke on him!
And the last one--missing a step as we came out of Animal Planet at Universal Studios with Kelly and Linda and going sprawling on the walkway in front of a hundred people! Not cool!
(picture it) high school... between softball games...running up to the bathroom... high speed sprint in my softball uniform, step up on curb... step-nope fall down on ground... AAHHH....broken foot. Don't really need to say more on that one!
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